Hey guys Pete here …
This is one for the younger guys, but most of the rules still apply to our older students.
Today I want to talk to you guys about a version of game I have become very passionate about. Cougar game. I’ve extensively tested this during my cross country trip to return to college. I still fondly remember my first cougar pull a little over a year ago when I was living on the east coast. I was in the military at the time and, well… She slightly outranked me to say the least. Not that I’m complaining.
Before we continue let us classify what it is exactly we’re talking about:
An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or MILF. Cougars are gaining in popularity — particularly the true hotties — as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.
Now you guys may be wondering is the really possible? Will older women really hook up with a younger guy? The answer is yes. In fact, if she’s older or married then it’s easier to hook up with her 80% of the time. This is just what we see over and over infield.
Cougars know what they want, they are quick about getting to it. Recently I bounced a cougar out of a venue in 20 minutes to an after-hours party only for her to pull me close and let me know she wanted to “Fuck and pass out.” As a resident of AZ this scenario plays out each weekend across the state.
Let’s start with frame control. This is the number one most important thing in Cougar game. If you want her to be attracted to you then this is the pillar of it all. She is going to try and set all sorts of negative frames on you because of your age, I call it the “little boy” frame. If you can avoid this you’ve completed your first step in Cougar game.
So how is it done?
She will say things like, “I’m old enough to be your mom.” This is where your value velocity will override all her logical circuitry. You say something like “I thought your son and I went to the same high school … I’m just trying to fulfill your young guy fantasy.” Notice the frame reversal: she attempts to put you in the “little boy” frame and you counter with the “young guy she’s chasing” frame. This is exactly where you want to be.
This then moves into the second important part of frame control….the age question. Now I’m sure everyone has heard Mehow talk about this before. In Cougar game the age question should be avoided at all costs. Keeping her and your age out of the equation keeps a lot of logical thinking from getting in the way and allows the pick up to occur more naturally. The ideal scenario is for her not to know how old you really are until after you close her. I’m
not telling you to lie, just do not address it unless it comes up.
Note: If you avoid the question to often it becomes an issue also so you want to have a handler prepared, one I’ve used a lot is: “I’m actually 64 I just moisturise a lot.” If she asks again later on I will just tell her, hiding things can derail the pick up. – DaveC
If she asks you how old you think she is here’s the perfect handler. Cougar: “How old do you think I am?” Me: “I was gonna say you’re totally hot … for 17”; “It’s cool I was totally looking for a sugar mama ” etc. etc. You guys get the idea. If she asks your age then rehoop her and tell her after she guesses. Upon telling her your real age expect the above shit test and have the handler ready.
Dominance is the second part to Cougar game. It is very important in general, but lacking it in Cougar game is catastrophic. Because you are younger than her, she will not expect you to be leading the interaction or moving her around the venue. But doing these things builds her investment in you and in the interaction. Remember to always have a reason to move her: “I’m thirsty let’s go grab a drink”; “Its loud here I can’t hear very well lets go somewhere quieter”, etc. The same goes for handling interruptions such as her friends, in which case, you get her to introduce you. Bottom line is to not hesitate to be dominant because this will solidify her sexual attraction to you which leads right into the final part of Cougar game.
Sexuality is the final piece to the puzzle. This is where the fun really begins. Let’s face, it women are very sexual beings, but this becomes even more magnified as they age. Many cougars, in my experience, have had larger sex drives than the younger girls I’ve dated. This makes it essential to the initial interaction with an older woman. When you frame control during the age question, act dominant, and lead then her sexual attraction spikes massively.
Then simply adding sexual verbal’s can be enough to cause the pot to boil over. Things like, “I can already tell your last boyfriend didn’t spank you hard enough”; “I see you looking at me like a fat kid look at a hamburger”, etc. Over the top sexuality is more acceptable to older women than their younger counterparts, so simply add this and the cougar game formula will be complete.
Let’s Take It One Step Further…
The Cougar – Cougee relationship is a thing of beauty. Older women dating younger men is becoming a cultural norm. If she’s hot & down for it then why shouldn’t you be? There are three main routes that a relationship can go. I will address each in turn.
The deciding factor is how well she deals with the age difference. In some cases they enjoy that they can beat out younger women for you and it becomes somewhat validating and arousing for them. Yes guys in case you were wondering that means you’re her trophy, yeah it’s a tough life but somebody has to do it. As a side note it’s interesting how older women often embody the characteristics we learn through PickUp i.e. being non-judgmental, allowing things to just happen, and remaining unaffected by others.
The NSA Cougar
The first is a relationship that is purely physical. This is the NSA friends with benefits road. Some cougars will never to be able to accept the age gap that separates you which means the best you can do for these ones is save them for late nights when you’re not pulling other girls. Just have your bedroom skills handled because cougars put younger girls to shame.
I have tried converting an NSA cougar into a relationship once but a combination of the age difference, her friends & acquaintances being judgemental and some emotional instability. You’ll have trouble hanging out with the NSA Cougar as she fears social pressure from being with you.
These girls may use you for a one night stand before preferring to avoid you thereafter. They’ll enjoy their time with you but they won’t accept it as a permanent thing. If the sex was good they will booty call you, you should return the favour.
Deep Connection Cougar
When she accepts the age difference things can go down one of two roads. It can turn into a deep emotional connection very quickly. This will very likely be completely different from anything she has ever felt before. In a situation like this she tends to be very sweet and loving along with letting all of her walls down.
They really like you and want to keep hooking up with you and the more they do the more attached they get to you. But at the same time some are fighting social pressure, cultural norms that go against what she feels for you. She will consistently be plagued by doubts. Attempting to form a relationship with this type of Cougar is problematic.
In a situation like this you should live intensely in the moment with her and enjoy it while it lasts, and if things start to go down hill you should cut it off and move on. Getting too emotionally attached to a cougar like this is a will only cause pain. I had a relationship with a cougar, lets call her HB Flight attendant, like this and regardless of the strength of her feelings and how badly she wanted to be ok with it she could not. At the time I wanted to learn relationship game better so as an experiment to find out where the boundaries lie I pushed things further and further with her until the breaking point.
Unfortunately investing that much into one woman gets you emotionally invested too. So the bottom line is don’t do it if either of you aren’t ready for a relationship, and if you’ve already gone down that path accidentally then simply spending some time sarging infield with Mehow and Dave C can bring you back, if you normally read the blog you’ve heard this story, if not here’s what I’m talking about the portion about running into
I should note that a Cougar’s norm is defined largely by her social circle, so if your Cougar is the deep connection kind and all her friends are also dating younger guys she won’t feel social pressure the same way and the relationship can really work. You’ll find these kind of girls in certain bars in many different cities.
Beware though since this type of relationship tends to go very deep very fast no matter which way it goes.
The Sugar Momma
The third and final road a cougar relationship can go down is a combination of the above and having her as your sugar mama. Yes it is possible to get cougars to buy you things. These girls have their shit together, they don’t give a damn about social expectations, they know what they want, if it’s you then they’ll fly you across the country to be with them.
This is set up early on in the pickup when the age shit test happens and she says something like
HB Cougar: I’m old enough to be your mom
PUA: It’s cool I was totally looking for a sugar Momma.
Now this may seem like a joke and it is pretty funny at the moment, but it is the start of the framing of how you guys will be together.
The major difference between these cougars is that they’re the most emotionally mature and secure. They also know what they want and are very good at getting it. Their life is set and they have almost everything they want, but they have often chosen career success and independence over family, love, boyfriends, and marriage. The best possible chance of converting a cougar into a sugar mama starts with the above frame. There are also three other useful ones, first that you are nonjudgmental. She will trust you more knowing that you won’t judge her.
The one that goes hand in hand with that is the frame that you are unaffected by what other people think. You will face social pressure when in public with a cougar as will she, this only gets worse when people see her buying you expensive clothes and meals. The third frame is that you’re really not looking for anything serious, this allows you to keep an open relationship with all the benefits, just don’t be jealous if she flys another guy out to visit her the weekend after you.
My favorite is an old school Mystery gambit that goes something like this during the framing of your ‘relationship’ with your sugar mama “I don’t like to put things into a box or predetermine outcomes. Because if you do you could prevent it from growing into something it could’ve been. “I just want to live in the moment with you and have fun and we’ll see where it goes.”
After a while of being with you, assuming you are seeing the sugar momma often enough, she will start to become attached to you. Some older women go so far as to use their money to flatter guys that flatter them, allowing their financial success to try and win the guy over with their personality… I was a sugar baby for roughly 4 months, and inevitably like most open relationships one person wanted more and the other did not.
These women will also date you exclusively.
A final note: The ultimate truth is you don’t get to choose the type of relationship you’ll have with a cougar, it’s all about where she’s at in her life right now. Hopefully, now, you’ll be a little clearer on the signs.
P.S. For those of you that would like to get on the phone with Pete or any of our other talented coaches for a 1-hour session e-mail DaveCMehowTV@gmail.com. Include a contact number for a quick response. Rates start at $47.